It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
