i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
