Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
