We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
