By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
