Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
