I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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