watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
