Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize