So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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