i barfeds in our rink
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
