Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
