dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
