I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
