I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
