oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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