his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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