I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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