I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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