Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
