He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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