so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
