i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize