Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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