My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
