Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
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