don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
do nipples grow back?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
