I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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