my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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