dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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