Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All the doctor said was why
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
