made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
