he wants to bone in the snuggie
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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