Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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