I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
