people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
