Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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