Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
