why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
