I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize