are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Say something about gay babies.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
