erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
