My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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