We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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