I feel great
I just peed on a car
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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