I must be too annoying 4 u.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
