I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
