next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
