she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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