i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ladies don't puke and tell
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
