This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
