and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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