Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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