Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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