Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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