I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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