if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Randomize
