I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
