She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
